


And he would fucking snore

by marvelous_space_nerd



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Allergic!Jaskier, Allergies, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Headcanon, Its my work i can make anyone allergic, M/M, Sickfic, tagging is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23768044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelous_space_nerd/pseuds/marvelous_space_nerd
Summary: Jaskier´s always preferred the warmer seasons. There were more people out, there was less rain and maybe more importantly the nights camping weren't so cold.But there was still one downside to the changing seasons, a runny nose which of course came with sneezing, and very itchy eyes.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 10
Kudos: 119





	And he would fucking snore

**Author's Note:**

> I´m not a native, I never wrote anything before and this was written at 3 AM. Sound like a recipe for disaster? well i feel like this isn´t a complete train wreck so enjoy!

Jaskier´s always preferred the warmer seasons. There were more people out, there was less rain and maybe more importantly the nights camping weren't so  _ cold. _

But there was still one downside to the changing seasons, a runny nose which of course came with sneezing, and very itchy eyes.

Most of the time Jaskier was fine. He'd splash some water in his face and he was able to get on with his day. Even when he would be on the road for days on end after meeting Geralt.

Geralt knew Jaskier reacted bad to the springtime. He didn't know what caused it, but neither did anyone else. All he knew was that it was just annoying. Jaskier was out of breath sooner, and he would  _ fucking snore. _

The amount of times the witcher had to move his bedroll away from Jaskier so he wouldn't  _ just _ hear an annoying and particularly loud snore.

Geralt never said anything about it. There was no need to, Jaskier was fine, just a little more annoying than normal. Only this year it seemed worse than all the other years combined.

´Oh and Geralt did i tell you about this time I- wait there´s something in my eye give me two seconds´ 

´hm´ was the best response geralt could think of before stopping roach and letting Jaskier catch up again.

´Looks like the time has come again for me to annoy you, witcher´ Jaskier said after he caught up again. ´so where was I?´

***

It did not get better as time passed. Jaskier sneezed so much and Geralt has never heard anyone snore so loud.

Jaskier was just strumming his lute when it got really bad.

´Toss a coin _ *sniff* _ to your  _ *sniff* _ ´ He tried to sing ´Well this  _ *achoo* _ isn´t working´ ´So it looks like  _ *sniff* _ you're in luck Geralt, I'll finally keep  _ *sniff* _ my mouth shut for once´ He manages to say, before he had to sneeze again.

And again

And again

And again.

´fuck´

That was the first time Geralt ever said anything about it.

***

Geralt managed to find a hand chief and give it to Jaskier. And Jaskier was the most annoying he's ever been. He´d never really minded the talking when they were on the road, it was only when the bard endangered himself with his silver tongue that he really was annoying. That stupid bard made him worry, just like he did now.

_ ´achoo!´ _

´You know Geralt  _ *sniff*  _ you could at least pretend to care  _ *sniff*  _ by saying bless you´ He said, Jaskier looked like a mess. He had a red nose, chapped skin right underneath it. His eyes were swollen red and full of tears, and yet he still managed to look pretty, in a weird way.

´How can you even still see?´’Geralt asked, as he dismounted roach and started walking over to Jaskier.

´Well that's very  _ *sniff*  _ kind of you´ Jaskier said, kinda happy with the fact that Geralt decided to care for once. ´To be fair it's a real struggle to keep them open, but well at least… nope there's absolutely nothing positive about  _ *sniff*  _ this, this really  _ *sniff*  _ sucks´

´hm´ Geralt said as he got closer. Somehow he found himself cupping the other man's face. He didn't exactly know why he did that. To take a look at the mess that was Jaskier? To show him that he did care? ´close them´ he finally said

´What?´ Jaskier managed to say before sneezing and giving in on this request

Geralt had returned to Roach to check if there truly was nothing that would help the very red mess with  _ tears  _ running down his face.

´There's a stream nearby´ the witcher sighed. 

´Oh so my eyes are red ONCE and you directly make a plan to  _ drown  _ me?´ the bard said sarcastically, still keeping his eyes closed.

Something close to a smile formed on the witcher´s face. ´yes-, and _ I´m _ leading you there and  _ you´re _ not opening your eyes´ ´ And don't act like you've never annoyed me like this before´ He said with a hint of sarcasm in his words.

´Well there's nothing I can do blindy so Geralt! Lead me to the stream!´ he said triumphantly when he felt a sturdy arm behind his back telling him where to go next.

***

The stream was really close, Jaskier felt that they directly left the road and walked in a field. It would be kinda romantic if he didn't sneeze every three second and if he was able to open his eyes, thought Jaskier.

The stream itself wasn't very spectacular, but it was enough for Jaskier to wash his face and make the itching a bit more bearable. He didn't hear Geralt leave, but he did hear him come back with roach.

´Ah, hello Roach, you also here for this  _ *achoo*  _ water?´ he said ´you know it´s great as long as you avoid the  _ *sniff*  _ snot and tears I put in there´

´Jaskier, watch roach for a minute and start making camp´ the other man said ´I´ll go and find some dinner´

´Wait isnt it  _ *sniff*  _ a bit  __ early to _ *sniff* _ make camp?´

´Yes but-´

´ _ Achoo!´ _

´-you're gonna be a pain in the ass when you're sneezing like this on the road´

´Don't spoil Roach too much´ Geralt said as he left

´Definitely can't promise that´ the sneezing man whispered just soft enough so that Geralt couldn't hear him.

***

The rest of the day went a bit better. Jaskier was still a sniffing mess with swollen eyes but at  _ least  _ he was able to wash his eyes and continue setting up camp. Roach was kinda happy with this whole camping early development due to the amount of sugar cubes she got while Geralt was gone.

Night already started to fall when geralt returned with a rabbit. Jaskier already got a fire going and Geralt prepared the rabbit. When dinner was finished, Jaskier´s eyes weren´t swollen anymore. He still was a sneezing mess, but at least he could see without without the struggle of that annoying itch.

´I, eh, made you tea´ heard jaskier wilst he was strumming his lute and he  _ thankfully  _ was able to sing again. He put his lute away and took the warm mug in his hands.

´You know I should sneeze a lot more if  _ *sniff*  _ it means I get tea from the famous white wolf´ Jaskier said with a chuckle, almost certain that Geralt had a smile on his face.

***

Jaskier was the first to fall asleep. Most of the time they played a round of Gwent before the both went to sleep. If Jaskier wouldn't snore they would even cuddle because ´that was a lot warmer´. They both knew that that wasn't the only reason they would cuddle, but they would both never admit it.

Jaskier was snoring a little bit, but the urge to lie next to him was bigger than the urge for a night where he wouldn't wake up because  _ someone  _ had to breath through his mouth during the night.

He saw Jaskier shift when he lifted the blacket to move over. He laid down and put his arms behind his back and pulled Jaskier closer. And  _ somehow  _ Jaskier, whilst very much asleep, did the same.

´Hmm´ Geralt heard Jaskier say while he pulled him closer. It wasn't long after that that Geralt fell asleep too. Hoping that the other man wouldn't ruin his mood by snoring very loudly in his face.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked this, it might really motivate me to keep writing! If you find any mistakes please tell me so it´ll hopefully improve my writing  
> Btw i have a tumblr if your interesterd: https://marvelous-space-nerd.tumblr.com/


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